turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
