If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Randomize
