Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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