I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
