I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
