My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
