is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
