I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
