Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
