if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You pole danced in your parka.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
