he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my shit smells like andre
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
