fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize