tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize