whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
