New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We're too hungover to prance.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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