ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
