It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
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