Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
So vagazzling was a success
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize