Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
