I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
