Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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