What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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