Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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