walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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