How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
