no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
