if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
