Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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