Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
