If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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