Barsexuality is the new black.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
