R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
