discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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