no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
