so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
