i just made my gag reflex go away.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
