Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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