I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
my poor anus
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize