So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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