You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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