The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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