I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Randomize
