I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
