Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
