DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
