Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
