Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
