that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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