There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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