I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
kristin has been a bad kristin
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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