Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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