you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
