she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
