Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
