I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
