Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so that wasnt chicken after all
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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