Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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