I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
