NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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