Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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