Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
