that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
