just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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