Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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